Grim Reaper Excited by Napolitano Incompetence, and Mexican Swine Flu

Read this truly "Once in a lifetime" interview with the Grim Reaper. Exclusively brought to you by Zaphods Planet!

I couldn't believe the call I got this morning. He never calls anyone, but he said he liked my work. Death himself..... in the flesh.... or what's left of his flesh.... right on my very phone. Below is a transcript from most of the call:

Zaphod:
Hello? Z Speaking

Death:
How's it hangin Z?

Zaphod:
OMG, Grim.... I'm doing well, just starting out on this new web project, how's business going for you?

Death:
Well, it was getting kind of slow.... but a few things managed to fall in place in Mexico and I am BUSSAY.....hee hee....

Zaphod:
Hey... that's not nice

Death:
Give me a break Z, you know this is my job, I don't have a choice..... I just pick up the pieces and escort a lot of people up ... or down

Zaphod:
Sorry.... I know.... so for what reason am I honored with your call?

Death:
Well.... you now what I do....

Zaphod:
Not now.... are you kidding me? And I was just getting things in order with my life....and the ultimate irony..... it's via a freakin phone call.... talk about "no respect"

Death:
Psyche! No.... I'm sorry.... you're not even on my lists yet....The real reason for my call is because of your new little project. I know you don't like Janet Napolitano so I thought you would appreciate how much I like her and the incredibly lame ass job she's doing as your Homeland Security Chief..... Now that's irony.

Zaphod:
Go on..... what do you like about her.

Death:
Well, if I were still among the living, in the flesh. I'd be closing the borders, stopping flights to Mexico, closing schools..... and most everything else. I'd try to get this thing locked down and protect the people I was supposed to protect. But no, she just keeps the illegals flowing into your country, some of them carrying the bug. Then she tells you it's just a "cold"..... And the last time I took a couple seconds to hear the idiots on the boob tube she was saying "People are going to die". So instead of doing something she tells you the obvious. What a genius. Unreal, I couldn't have picked a better person for the job. No accountability, no honesty, and she doesn't really seem to give a crap about any of your livelihoods since I'm guessing they're looking for more ACORN voters. And to top that off, your president BO..... I love that one... Savage comes up with the best zingers. Anyway, your all mighty BO is more concerned with scamming you people out of more and more of your money, selling you down the road of socialism and being worshiped every 5 seconds. He doesn't care either. Talk about a narcissist. Now I've seen them all, good ones and bad ones and this guy makes Napoleon seem tame. Hurry, Someone get me a mirror, and get some other people lined up to tell me they love me.... I feel lonely. You would be shocked if I could take you with me behind closed doors. Anyway, business is good and I'm quite bullish on the coming months. I'm gonna be busy.

Zaphod:
So what you're saying is pretty much what me and some other conservative radio people have been trying to get out about this left winger?

Death:
Essentially yes, but there's so much more.

Zaphod:
Any chance you could take me behind a few closed doors with a video camera?

Death:
Sorry Z, no video camera allowed and I'd have to kill ya first..........(Laughter)... just kidding.....about the video camera that is..(More laughter)

Zaphod:
You really love your job don't you?

Death:
What do you expect Z? The living love life, and Death loves death..... we all have a job here.

Zaphod:
So can you give me any clues about what the future holds here?

Death:
it's hard to say, if the BO administration doesn't wise up and get that woman out of there there's going to be some major hell to pay and that's all I can tell you. I mean, for me she's great. But for you she's not..... unless you're ready to become worm food again.

Zaphod:
Any suggestions for those wishing to stay above ground for the time being?

Death:
I'm no doctor, or did I used to be one, I can't remember now. First, I'd steer clear of Ol Mexico, second ..... well.... let's just say washing your hands isn't going to be quite enough... this crap is airborne now.... I guess stay out of crowds of people that sound like they're coughing their lungs up.

Zaphod:
Real Subtle Grim.

Death:
Hey, being "Politically Correct" ain't my game any more than it seems to be yours Z. Although I do love "Political Correctness".

Zaphod:
Why's that?

Death:
Are you a moron Z, or have you not had your coffee yet? For the same reason you think it's stupid.....

Zaphod:
No.... I just thought this would make for a nice interview for the site?

Death:
Are you recording this conversation Z? Oh... I am so pissed at you now.....(dial tone)....

Well, there you have it people. My exclusive, and probably last call from the Grim Reaper himself... until my number comes up. If you happen to see him before I do, please send him my apologies and that i was really thankful for the interview.